Stellar
by CrimsonObsession
Summary: I...RETURN! [watches while people run away screaming] Um...yeah. So here's a belated holiday fic, the sequel to What You Really Need. SLASH GALORE! Don't like, don't read! Do like, come on in, the water's fine!!!


Merry belated Christmas/Hannukah/Kwanzaa/etc. everybody!!! And a Happy New Year to boot! I'm back, after so very long. Yes, I can hear you screaming and see you running away. Too bad for you I locked all the doors [evil laugh]. Anyway, I would've been back to torment you all sooner, but three weeks of the hell that is trying to condense the contents of an entire (overloaded) house into two rooms and a storage unit, plus the near-death of my ancient computer, kept me from any writing. But now I'm back, living in a better place and playing with a brand new laptop, HOO YEAH!! [makes pooty Skoodge noise]  
  
Anyway, enough of my boring life. You came to read fic, and fic you shall read!! This is a little something I wrote for mah friend Idgiebay, as her Christmas present. It's not nearly as good as the Hot Topic-ness she gave me, but she seemed to enjoy it, for some odd reason. Hopefully, you will too. This is the next story in the little series I began with What You Really Need, but I don't think it's really necessary to have read that one to get this one. Key points from What You Really Need, A. Zim found out the Tallest hate him, B. He got tall, C. Dib and Zim loooove one another XD. That last one shouldn't be much of a surprise to anyone.  
  
Why can't I shut up?!! Okay, on to ficcage. BRING THE PAIN!!!  
  
Disclaimer: Invader Zim and its characters belong to JHONEN V., the Almighty Thinnest, and (unfortunately for us fans) the winged monkeys at Nickelodeon. I make no money off this, and do it only for deep, unhealthily strong love for these characters. Please don't sue me. All I have to give is college debt ;_;.  
  
Added Disclaimer: "Stellar" is performed by Incubus, off the album Make Yourself, and is, I think, written by Brandon Boyd. If it's not, I apologize profusely. Please don't sue me. Anyone who hasn't heard Stellar, MUST! Go! Get the CD right now!!!  
  
Slash Disclaimer: THIS IS SLASH! Anyone who doesn't like should leave now. Flames will be treated with the same loving respect you would expect from Nny, and survivors will be fed to my pet Velociraptor.  
  
Stellar  
  
  
-Meet me in outer space  
We could spend the night;   
watch the Earth come up-  
  
He wondered what Zim was doing. Standing on the lawn, face tilted towards the sky, the alien slightly resembled the freakish flamingos surrounding him. Yep. Just a greener, cuter flamingo.   
  
A fond grin crossed Dib's face at the comparison. He made his way up the front walk. "There's this new invention. Just came out; called a telescope. Ever heard of it? Might come in handy in this particular situation."   
  
When he didn't get a response, the grin faded a bit. "Zim?" Tentatively, he reached out and pressed pale fingers to the black shirt he'd leant the alien. After a moment, Zim turned to him. His eyes were distracted; Dib watched as they focused, glanced around, and finally landed on him.   
  
"Eh? Dib-beast?"  
  
Dib sighed. "Why do you persist in calling me that?"   
  
"Because of the way you blush when I say it. You're well aware of the connotations." Dib rolled his eyes, and noticed that all vestiges of distraction were gone from Zim's attitude.   
  
"Sadist."  
  
"Masochist."   
  
"He's got ya' there, Dibby!!" Dib couldn't fight a laugh at GIR's sudden appearance and declaration. He shook his head and smiled an amused smile.  
  
"GIR. Do you even know what a masochist is?"   
  
The little bot seemed hard at thought for almost a minute, brows furrowed (as much as a robot's can be), chin resting on his hand like some new age version of The Thinker. "Masso-kissed is...when Master tells the house to play with Dibby! And the moose comes out and there's cables and cables and more cables and they hug Master Dibby reeeeeal tight and then Master's spidey legs-"  
  
Two pairs of hands wrapped around GIR's mouth. "Nevermind, GIR. What's say you go watch your shows."  
  
Vacant cyan stared.   
  
"Ookie-dookie!" With a quick squirm he was out of their hands and back in the house, leaving Zim and Dib standing on the lawn, staring at their robot-spit covered palms.  
  
"So...what -were- you doing when I got here? Receiving telepathically coded messages on Earth's destruction? Searching the immediate area for planets ripe for conquest? Or just digging those cosmic vibes..." With that Dib struck a pointedly ridiculous pose, straight out of a bad disco movie. For a moment he pondered the impossibility of the existence of a good disco movie, then he noticed the look Zim was giving him.   
  
"Aheh..." he cleared his throat, "...sorry." Zim shook his head, but Dib was heartened to see his expression returned to normal.  
  
"Well, Dib-beast." Zim accented the 'beast' maliciously. "Did you have any purpose in coming over? Aside from being vexing, of course."  
  
"I was just making sure we were still on for tomorrow. I've still got Gaz and Dad to shop for, and Christmas is two days from now. The stores are gonna be packed, it's gonna be hell...I don't want to have to brave the disgusting crowds alone." He gave Zim a loaded glance.   
  
The alien waved a hand at him. "Yes, yes, I am well aware of your dependence on Zim in this matter. Fear not, I shall protect you from the teeming hoards of filthy Earth-monkeys. You have chosen your shopping companion wisely, for I-"  
  
"I get the point, Zim, thanks. That'll make it a lot easier."  
  
Zim's brow furrowed a bit. "You did not come over simply for that, did you? You could've contacted me on the phone if that was all you required."   
  
Dib feigned hurt, gripping his chest and laying a hand to his forehead, swooning pitifully and laying it on as thick as he could. "I had only hoped to steal a few moments with my beloved! And yet he does not want me around, oh woe be I!" Zim rolled his eyes.  
  
"You know what I meant."  
  
Dib glanced up from where he lay, moaning and lamenting, on the ground. Mischief danced in his eyes. Zim gave him a gentle but firm kick to the side, which prompted even more obviously fake complaints. Exasperated, Zim threw up his arms with a "Garg!", turned, and stomped into the house, closing the door on Dib.  
  
Dib sat up and rubbed the back of his head, smirking. Getting slowly to his feet, Dib walked down the concrete path to the street, fighting down the ridiculous urge to skip. He didn't notice the pained gaze following him, or how those lavender eyes turned sorrowfully to the sky and never dropped.  
  
_____  
  
-I've grown tired of that place;  
won't you come with me?  
We could start again.-  
  
"Yeouch!" Dib sucked on the tip of his finger, and glared at the scissors that had so rudely cut him. Unfortunately for him, the scissors seemed unaffected by his anger, forcing him to turn it on the next available thing. His gaze went first to GIR, who was somehow encasing himself in red foil wrapping paper and eating gold bows. The cuteness was undeniable though, and he couldn't get angry at the little bot no matter how hard he tried.  
  
Then he noticed Zim.  
  
The alien was at the window. One hand held open the curtain on the right, the other lay limp at his side. His scarlet eyes were locked on the star-studded sky.   
  
Dib frowned. A little too loudly, he said, "Oh no, Zim, I don't need any help at all! I've only got a couple hundred presents to wrap and two hands is more than enough to get the job done."   
  
Zim gave no response, not even an indication he'd heard a word that was said to him. Dib's already warm blood began to burn, the frustration and stress of the holiday about to blow a nice hole in the top of his head, a volcano that would spew candy canes and sugar plums and all the other crap that had filled his brain to bursting. The rant was almost out of his mouth when strong metal arms wrapped around his body, squeezing him painfully tight.   
  
"I love yoooou," echoed from behind Dib, and cold metal rubbed itself onto the bare skin of his neck. Dib sighed as the pressure was driven from him.  
  
"I love you too, GIR." As if he knew the crisis had been averted, the little bot stole a candy cane off Dib's santa hat and ran out of the room. His happy squeals carried from the back rooms, and sent any last stubborn bits of holiday stress fleeing Dib's brain in terror.   
  
But that did nothing for the worry that had been nagging at him lately. He stared for a while at Zim, admired for the thousandth time how well he filled out his new, taller form. His skin was a pale mint in the light flooding in the window, moonlight reflecting in his perfect eyes. He was so beautiful. And he worried Dib to no end.  
  
Since their initial breakthrough, their strange new relationship had come along very slowly. After their first kisses it had been weeks before Zim had finally been comfortable enough to kiss again, and to do anything more had taken a great deal of soothing and trust-building on Dib's part. His leaders' rejection had crippled Zim, emotionally, and Dib was still struggling to repair the damage, to create something better and stronger out of it.  
  
But he was beginning to suspect it was a losing battle. Zim had been growing more and more distracted lately. They would be carrying on a conversation until Dib noticed that Zim hadn't paid attention for the last ten minutes. In the movie theater Dib would lean over to comment on a plot point or make a MST-esque joke and would find Zim's eyes were on the dark, were staring at nothing. Dib had become afraid that he was the problem, until he noticed that Zim did it to everyone, around GIR, in hi skool; even on their Christmas shopping excursion. Zim must've run into people twenty times before they got out of there. Dib almost smiled as he remembered the department store they'd gone through to enter the mall. By the time they'd made it to the mall proper, the cosmetic surgery poster girls at the perfume counter had caught Zim right in the face five times.   
  
And it wasn't just the distraction. The disappearances were even worse. Zim would take the Voot Cruiser out for hours on end, not saying a word about where he was going. Even while Dib was there; they would be sitting on the couch, watching TV, when all of a sudden Zim would get up, mumble something about needing to be out, and take off down to the lab, followed ten minutes later by the rumble of the roof opening and the burst of the Voot's engines shooting off. He had been gone when Dib arrived that afternoon to go shopping, and Dib waited around for a half hour until he showed up. He had given no explanation and Dib hadn't asked for one.   
  
Dib's hope of it being something easily fixed was wearing thin. He would talk to Zim, as soon as he got up the nerve. With one last disappointed glance at Zim, he turned back to wrapping Christmas presents.  
_____  
  
-How do you do it?  
Make me feel like I do.  
How do you do it?  
It's better than I ever knew.-  
  
He knew he'd find him out there.   
  
Dib stood on his front lawn, watching Zim watch the stars. The clanking of dishes and GIR's happy shrieks sounded from the open door behind him, but they seemed distant and hollow in the face of this; this gentle wind, this soft fall of snow, this ebony canopy and the lithe figure fixated on it. Even his family waiting to exchange presents in their one show of love all year meant nothing in comparison to this moment.  
  
Zim jumped slightly as Dib wrapped his warm fingers around the alien's chilled shoulder. His brow furrowed and his face took on a questioning expression, reflection on Dib's own sorrowful, resigned look.   
  
Dib stepped up beside Zim, and joined him in staring at the stars for a few seconds, feeling Zim's gaze on him the entire time. He breathed in, hard, and relished the burning of the crisp, cold air on his lungs. It hurt.  
  
"You want to go, don't you."  
  
He paused to get the right effect, and, even more importantly, to steel himself. "I know you miss space. I guess it was bad enough being stuck with us stinkbeasts when you had that hope. Now, with nothing to look forward to, it must be hell." Deep breath. Deep breath. "I can't imagine being exiled. I love Earth, no matter how crappy its inhabitants make it. I can't begin to figure out how I'd react to losing it." His eyes were burning now, to match his lungs. "I can't keep you here. I don't want to, not when it does this to you. I'm not going to stop you. Just...can you promise...promise you won't forget."  
  
A single, stubborn tear fought its way past his eyelashes, streaked down his cheek and froze halfway down. After an agonizing age he turned, half expecting to be alone.   
  
He wasn't. Zim was still there, his expression unreadable, his gaze intent, locked on Dib with the same intensity it had spent on the stars. Hope and fear came to a climax in their fight for control of Dib's heart; leather gloved fingers were wrapped around his wrist and Zim was suddenly tugging him wordlessly along.  
_____  
  
-Meet me in outer space.  
I will hold you close, if you're afraid of heights.-  
  
Before he realized what was happening Dib was being dragged into the Voot Cruiser by Zim. They sat down, and Zim's slim fingers danced nimbly over the keys and buttons that covered the entire inner surface. Clacking noises rang through the cockpit while Dib took in every fascinating inch of the machinery.  
  
"Close your eyes."  
  
"What?" Dib's head snapped to his side.  
  
"You heard me." All of the alien's attention seemed to be focused on the controls in front of him. Dib could almost believe he hadn't even heard that. But his slack-jawed staring finally prompted Zim to glare at him, a glare strong enough to make him obey without question...well, without questioning out loud, anyway. The ship's hum vibrated through him, making him fidget, and he was nearly thrown into the windshield when the seat beneath him lifted with a buck and a jerk. The rumbling of take off was enough to make his bones vibrate to the marrow.   
_____  
  
-I will hold you close, if you're afraid of heights.  
I need you to see this place, it might be the only way...-  
  
Ages passed in what must've been an hour. The darkness was reaching the point of being uncomfortable. It was a struggle of epic proportions to keep from opening his eyes, a struggle which rabid curiousity was tilting against him. Just when his fidgeting started to give off a desperate aura, Zim's voice came to him, carried somehow in the still, cramped atmosphere of the Voot.   
  
"You can open them."  
  
Dib tried to remember if any words had ever held such relief and fear before. There was something in Zim's cool, calm voice that scared him, something serious in a voice which was never meant for tones that were dire or of massive import. And yet he couldn't help but open his eyes.   
  
Black. All around him, nothing but darkness of varying strengths and shades and hues, broken by pinpricks of the purest white. He'd never imagined shadow could hold so many colors, that total darkness could be so bright. Indigo, lavender, electric blue and azure mingled between the stars. He took it in all at once, or tried to, saw a nebulous swirl of neon red and pink and fluffy white which drew in his senses and rendered all other thoughts impossible. At the farthest reaches of his vision a purple globe spun slowly in its rotation, as green wisps of cloud floated leisurely around it.   
  
Dib stared, transfixed. It was an eternity before he could choke out the words, "It's beautiful."  
_____  
  
-That I can show you how  
it feels to be inside of you.-  
  
An almost whimper met Dib's ears, and he turned to find Zim's steady crimson gaze fixed on him. "Beautiful..." the alien whispered, and the first hints of numbness and ice settled over Dib's heart. Zim started to say more, but Dib wasn't strong enough to hear it.  
  
"I understand, Zim. I can't ask you to give this up, no one and nothing should. You don't have to say-" the words wouldn't come. He lowered his eyes, lay his head in his hands and fought for control. A single sobbing breath escaped his suddenly-parched throat, then the musky smell and feel of warm leather rested on his shoulder.   
  
"Look at me."  
  
Dib sniffed. "Awfully dominating tonight, aren't you..."  
  
"Just as you like it, Dib-beast. Now listen. That," he pointed at the perfect sky outside the tiny world of their ship, "is perhaps the most beautiful thing you or I or anyone could ever hope to see. There is nothing in this universe to rival the void itself; I've seen enough of it to know."  
  
Dib had to look away. Gloved claws ran gently across his face, a hand cupped his moist cheek tenderly. "Before Earth I could ask for nothing more than this. Even missions meant little in comparison. And I now give it up, gladly."  
  
Dib's eyes widened. "What?"  
  
"Must I keep repeating myself, human? Your hearing is as pathetic as the rest of your human senses."  
  
Hands flailing ineffectually, Dib sputtered, "I don't understand. You're giving it up? WHY?!"  
  
The alien rolled his eyes. "How can I possibly love someone this slow."  
  
"...Love?"   
  
Zim glared with mock severity. "What did you take it for, Dib-beast? Mortal loathing? A fondness for leather and glasses? Or just simple masochism?"  
  
"Actually, yeah, pretty much. All except for the masochism part, I'm the masochist, remember?" The shock was finally giving way to a stunned smile. Zim stared at him for a moment.  
  
"I was wrong."  
  
"About...?" Warm lips were suddenly crushed against Dib's in a pure, surprisingly chaste kiss. Zim's warm, smooth, serpentine tongue urged deeper entry. They were both out of breath by the time the kiss ended, and Zim rubbed a suddenly bare finger along the edge of Dib's sensitive neck.   
  
"THIS is the most beautiful thing in existence."  
  
And they kissed again.  
____  
  
-How do you do it?  
Make me feel like I do.-  
  
They lay curled in each others arms, staring at the stars through the last traces of fog on the windshield.  
  
"You know...just because you won't be living up here...doesn't mean you can't visit."  
  
A smirk crossed his lips. "And I suppose I must bring you with me whenever these 'visits' occur."  
  
"This place would be boring without me."  
  
"Shut up and kiss me."  
_____  
  
-How do you do it?  
It's better than I ever knew.  
  
You are stellar.-  
__________  
  
^_^ 


End file.
